Dreaming of the past

Those bicycle rides on lonely roads, stars punched in the distant sky with the melting sun disappearing behind the horizon. I traded thoughts for dreams and lingered with a rich soul. Friends were there, we shared our worlds. The past lingers on!

Forever Young?

Sometimes when I look at it, it all seems to so simple. The decision is mine to make and the life mine to live. Just me. But then there it is, the selfish ring where I go round and round. So to satisfy oneself, you have to look inwards. To correct oneself you've to look inwards. More of introspection leaves a man self-centered. You completely miss the view that this ride presents you with. You stare at the endless sky missing all that you pass through. Come monday and you look forward to friday. With the weekend you plan for the long weekend. Is it that we always look for the ending. This journey to end? Why birth when all we desire is death. Or is it just that we need this journey to pause?

People huddled together on a crowded street, draped in black as speckles of dark ants they march home. Running to catch the train, bound by its timings. It is only natural that one thing leads to another. During this run they miss that homeless man on the pavement who is in no hurry. Just few quarters for a suare meal. Hours passed, men and women marched past, but his present has not changed and he grew richer by a quarter. How much does this human's life cost?
Birth places and crowded rooms with happy faces to see a new born. Fresh as a newborn baby, as it inhales from this great couldron of life. Fast forward some 60 years and I see an old lady in a wheel chair sitting in the porch of an Elderly home. Her wrinkled cheeks hasn't seen a kiss in years, longing and deserted. What hapenned inbetween? Does age ridicule company? You cannot connect the dots nor join those two points, the start and end. It's just a winding road inbetween and there are no two points maybe.

Of those millions of songs that have come out, all sung for love. Heard by billions through out. Still love is so heard to come by for so many. I feed all the wrong emotions and let them run loose in my fields of life; only to look back through pained eyes high on regret

What one wants is only the beginning. Once you know what next? I mean are you willing to give 100% to attain that? It separates an ordinary life to living today for the moment amidst ecstacy. But if ecstacy itself is elusive, what is it eluding? and where 'am I hiding from the invisible?
Something is wrong in the picture or the words I throw in this canvas. Mind can only wander so much...after a while it gets lost. When the fire dies, you can't make much from the ashes.
In Solitude I seek company! Gods have come and got punished by man. They couldn't fix this world we're building, nor do we know what is in store.

The world may be a circle but life should not be self-centered.

Time and Travel

The travels I've made in my heart cannot be surpassed by the real travels on road. I've seen a thousand places that has no address, no road can take you there. It remains hidden, just a secret passage through time I travel.
I've ridden these thoughts a million time. I dissected for answers and always end up with more questions. The truth is, the places I saw in my dreams were un-occupied beautiful and serene. Listening to Fleetwood Mac's As long as you follow - made me think of the west with rain drenched roads, wet and calling, mid-summer breeze brushing through as I ride the long road under a fulgent moon. But the truth is, the picture I painted was what I desired. I never found the place.
My travels in my heart will never end nor will the dreams. They don't have boundaries nor maps. I can sail whenever I want wherever I want and still the weather will do me good. My diaries will recollect the days through pages written by the hand of time. They true might fade away. I have a little girl to carry that torch. maybe she will see the dream and live through it. I'll dream for her.
But I'm done travelling. I just want to go home.

The Haze

Days pass by, swift and silent in the shadows of time. I'm staring at yet another winter. Wandering in time and aging with un-finished dreams. The hollow bark always attracts unseen visitors, they come and go as seasons change.

The road ahead, dark and desolate, just one call that keeps echoing through and through. Familiar pangs resonate to the distant hum.

Beyond the invisible

The last couple of days were lengthy and dark. I'd been walking back wards in time, treading on the stones that I avoided earlier. Nothing worse than losing one self knowingly. 'am I expecting some drama here? When the curtain has fallen, the audience move on.

I introspect inbetween these deep breaths and look at all those stones I'd thrown. Shattered few glasses here and there, some of them happen to be mine. Looking back through this cracked mirror, I see images of me all distorted and shady. I'd been hiding from myself and running from the truth. The long drawn sword of truth always itches to taste the blood of the beholder.

Pain is no visitor to me, I grew up with it and at some point was so alive being lifeless. At times I hear those shrill screams, the last of those days always wanders home to me. I find them and lift them to these blinded eyes.

I hear the claps of the passing clouds, distant rumble of thunder rolls through the blue sky. A dot of rain speckles the green leaves. I look up to trees, that dance and wriggle shedding off those leave that are weak. They drift by aimless and meek. I realize I have to shed some too.

The next few seconds crawl in to the vacuum of time, lost and gone. The breeze breathes less and less until it all rests. A dull silence fills the air, heavy and loud. The night empties it's couldron of darkness, a disappearing blur and an empty sky is all it takes to fill a disturbed mind.

With orphaned thoughts that know no end. The sky splits wide open with a streak of lightening, branching to the farthest corners of the earth starting the sprinkler in the sky.

No better feeling than this, soaked with out a purpose. No path no land, don't want no home nor any hearts around. Alone at this moment. I think of this world, so full of mourners. Wanderers in time salvaging whatever we can and living between choices and roads.

A quite hum fills my heart, I'm in no race with time. I have it all as I don't have any. I've lost them all to the past, today is just a sign of making it through. So hurrah! I made it, I maketh my own destiny. In the run I kill few dreams, live the chances and love the differences.

Ah! Love as a subject and want. I get washed away through it's course. I see valleys and mountains, streams and falls, all taking it's own course. It's a dance and I have to find a partner. Lost souls trying to make it to the end, that comes always uninvited.

The wind reads my story, time flips the pages. A book whose ending I can never read, just live it all day by day -

Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark

To travel back in time...to turn back the clock & walk the road all over again. Just Once!
Its dark and lonely, this mid-summer night's call.

Sweet lullaby

The deserted sky flung atop this satiated night
her fabric of darkness runs to the farthest corners
A still moon lies low poised on those ebbing waves
I walk the distance to the tip of the shore

I can see the faces of the moon
smiling upon this mortal kind
A sight so arresting that it sets my mind free, so free

my heart gallops a thousand miles
from past to present between those moments
when life stood still and ecstacy took over
when serenity was undone and wild

everytime I tred these shores and those waves
wet my dried up memories, a qualm that roars
to the mountains behind and yonder to those sailing clouds
i walk the distance to the tip of the shore

pebbles scattered in disarray washed up once in a while
somewhere in this ether lies my bygones
i walk the lane on this lonesome nite
so longing so real, as life itself